


Not Going Anywhere

by malecnificenttyrus11



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: 9-1-1 Season 4, Angst, Buck babysits, Canon Compliant, Christopher Diaz is Buck's Son, Conflicted!Buck, Crushing!Buck, Crying, Eddie's Date, Fluff, Heart-to-Heart, Hopeful Ending, Implied Feelings, Movie Night, Pre-Relationship, Worried!Buck, buddie, eddie diaz - Freeform, evan buckley - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:14:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29363820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malecnificenttyrus11/pseuds/malecnificenttyrus11
Summary: A date.Eddie was going on a date.Buck tried to ignore the way those words stung, his heart sinking into his stomach as the reality and weight of the words sunk in.Eddie, his bestfriend, his partner on-the-field-and-off, and most recently the person who held Buck's heart, was going on a date...With someone that wasn't him.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 8
Kudos: 461





	Not Going Anywhere

_ A date. _

Eddie was going on a _date_.

Buck tried to ignore the way those words stung, his heart sinking into his stomach as the reality and weight of the words sunk in.

Eddie, his bestfriend, his partner on-the-field-and-off, and most recently the person who held Buck's heart, was going on a date...

_ With someone that wasn't him. _

Buck knew deep down that the day would come where Eddie would be ready to put himself back in the game, meet new people and start dating again.

He'd always known that, even tried to prepare himself for the day that it happened. But nothing could have prepared him for the pain, the sudden, all-consuming fear of a loss that he hadn't even experienced yet.

Buck's feelings for Eddie weren't a part of some big, life-altering revelation. They'd always been there, simmering just below the surface, growing gradually more intense over the three years that they'd known eachother and grown inseparable.

A part of him had always felt as though Eddie was it for him. That he, Eddie and Christopher, the little family that they had found in eachother was it for him, and he was content with that.

_ It was enough.  _

Buck hadn't taken into consideration, though, or maybe refused to accept that, Eddie didn't feel the same. Atleast not in the way that Buck did.

So maybe he hadn't quite prepared himself enough for this. For the fact that one day, things would change. 

That he would have to relinquish his place in the Diaz family...whatever that may have been.

That someone who wasn't him would fill that void inside of Eddie's heart, inside of Christopher's...leaving him as alone as he'd always been before they'd come into his life.

_ The thought terrified him. _

In spite of everything, Buck still cared about them. Still cared about Eddie, had his back and would without hesitation take a bullet for him...still loved Christopher as if he was his own son.

_ And Buck would do anything to keep that, to keep them...in any capacity that he could. _

"Buck?" Eddie's voice rings out from beside him, causing him to startle out of his thoughts...jumping slightly.

Buck immediately looks up to meet Eddie's gaze, which is part-amused, part-concerned, an eyebrow quirked in question.

"Huh?" Buck questions, blinking himself back into reality.

"You good, man? I lost you for a second there..." Eddie says, leaning against the locker beside his and crossing his arms over his chest.

Buck huffs out a laugh, "Sorry, Eds...just tired." he lies, running a hand through his hair.

Eddie frowns, "Are you _sure_ you're okay to watch Christopher tonight? I could reschedule, or find someone else to watch him if..."

" _No_!" Buck cuts him off, waving his hand dismissively, "No, it's fine, really. I can watch him." 

Eddie narrows his eyes, unconvinced, " _Buck_ -" he starts.

"Eddie, I'm serious. It's fine... _I'm_ fine. And besides, you know I'd never miss the chance to spend time with my _favorite Diaz_." Buck teases, smirking at him.

Eddie rolls his eyes, shaking his head as a fond smile appears on his lips, "You two are _insufferable_ , you know that? You're his favorite, too...and _I'm_ his dad."

Buck laughs, "Well, that's because I don't try to take away his technology, I'm _way_ funnier than you, and...my cooking won't give the kid food poisoning."

Eddie narrows his eyes, shoving his shoulder, "Hey, stop corrupting my kid, and also... _rude_ ," he snaps lightheartedly, shifting to lean back against the locker, "okay, but you're _sure_ you're up to watching him? I know there's been a lot going on with, y'know, your parents and..."

"For the thousandth time, Eddie..." Buck says, shutting his locker and turning to face him, "I'm sure. Hanging with Chris always cheers me up, and besides...I love that kid."

Eddie smiles, looking down at the ground, "I know you do."

Buck clears his throat, "So, uh...what time do you need me there?"

"Well I'm supposed to meet Ana at 7, but...you can come by whenever, to hangout, y'know, if you want..." Eddie suggests, shrugging.

Buck nods, trying to ignore the pang in his chest at the mention of her name, "Sounds good." he manages to say, his face falling slightly before he schools his features, forcing a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes.

Eddie gives him a concerned look, clearly having caught Buck's mood shift. It was funny, really...how Eddie could always see right through him. 

Before Eddie could pry, or try to get him to open up about his feelings---which would be terrible timing giving the current circumstances and his impending date with someone later that night---Buck slings his bag over his shoulder, slapping Eddie's shoulder before moving towards the locker room door.

"See you later, Eds." Buck calls out, not sparing a look back to meet Eddie's concerned gaze, throwing a wave over his shoulder and making his way out of the station.

He tosses his bag into the passenger seat, quickly climbing inside his truck and slamming the door, slumping back against his seat and closing his eyes...letting out a breath.

_ Tonight was going to be interesting. _

Buck pushes aside his conflicted emotions in favor of focusing on the few hours that he'd get to spend with his favorite kid in the world. 

_ Suck it up, Buckley. You have to do this, if not for yourself or for Eddie, for Christopher. _

_For Christopher..._ Buck repeats in his mind like a mantra as he shifts his car into drive, making his way out onto the main road and in the direction of his apartment complex.

~

Under normal circumstances, Buck would've instantly made his way over to the Diaz household following a post-shift invitation, eager to spend as much time with them as possible.

Tonight, however, Buck put off showing up until the last possible second, wanting to avoid any conversation with Eddie that could drift into dangerous and uncharted territory.

He knew that Eddie would pick up on his unusual behavior and confront him about it eventually, but tonight would not be that night.

Tonight, Buck would show up as close to Eddie's departure time as possible, avoiding as much interaction as he could. 

_ The rest, well...he'd figure out later. _

~

Buck walks up the pathway towards the Diaz household, his legs feeling heavier with every step...the sound echoing in his ears clashing with the loud thumping of his rapid heartbeat.

After what feels like an eternity, every step feeling like slow-motion, he finally reaches the front door. He reaches into his pocket to pull out the spare key given to him awhile ago by Eddie.

_ You're family, Buck. This is your house too.  _

He freezes, hesitating as his hand hovers over his keychain.

Buck lets out a breath, shaking his head as he removes his hand from his pocket, dropping it down to his side and clenching his fist.

Buck couldn't just walk into Eddie's house like he wasn't a guest anymore, like it was his home...not when Eddie would soon find a potential partner.

He had to learn how to distance himself, to respect the boundaries that unspokenly-existed between platonic friends.

_ He had to learn how to start letting go. _

Buck takes a deep breath, composing himself before reaching up to knock on the door, shoving his hands into his pockets and taking a step back.

A few seconds pass by before footsteps approach the door, followed by the unlatching of a lock and finally the door opens.

"Buck?" Eddie's voice calls out, causing Buck's head to snap up.

His breath hitches as he takes in Eddie's appearance---his tight skinny jeans, equally-and-unfairly tight shirt and hair neat-yet-messy and so-completely _Eddie_ \---his heart racing in his chest.

Eddie repeats Buck's name, causing him to blink back into reality.

"Hey, _sorry_..." Buck laughs out shyly, running a shaking hand through his hair.

Eddie furrows his eyebrows, "You've been zoning out a lot lately. Are you _sure_ you're okay?" he asks, leaning against the doorframe.

Buck nods, "Yeah, I'm fine." he lies, Eddie still not looking convinced in the slightest.

"If you're sure, but...why are you _knocking_ instead of using your key?" Eddie questions.

Buck shrugs, shifting his weight, "I just didn't want to intrude."

Eddie narrows his eyes, " _Intrude_? Buck, you never intrude. I've told you before that you aren't just a _guest_ here...you're _family_. That's why you have the key, so you can use it." 

"You're right, sorry." Buck apologizes, chewing on his lower lip.

"You have _nothing_ to apologize for, Buck. Just..." Eddie pauses, letting out a sigh, "You never have to feel like you're unwelcome here, okay?"

Buck nods, forcing a smile, "Yeah, thanks...Eds."

Eddie nods, smiling, "Well, are you going to come in or what? Christopher is dying to spend time with _his Buck_." 

Buck smiles a small, genuine smile at Eddie's words, pushing himself forward and walking into the house, making his way in the direction of the living room.

"Buck!" Christopher exclaims, pushing himself up from his spot on the floor and speed-walking towards him, flinging himself right into Buck's arms.

Buck smiles, wrapping his arms around him and embracing him tightly, "Hey, buddy. How's my favorite kid doing?"

"Good..." he says, pulling away to look at Buck, "I missed you."

Buck laughs softly, his heart swelling, "I missed you too, buddy. I'm sorry I haven't been over lately, a lot has been going on."

"It's okay. My dad told me your family has been around, and that you've been sad. Are you still sad, Bucky?" Christopher asks, a frown on his face.

" _Chris_ , buddy...maybe you shouldn't-" Eddie starts to reprimand him, Buck cutting him off.

He turns to glance at Eddie, noting the slightly-guilty and apologetic look on his face, "It's _okay_ , Eds," he says, turning back to look at Christopher.

He rests his hands on Christopher's shoulders, "Honestly, buddy, I'm still sad. My parents weren't being nice to me...they aren't as great as your dad." he explains.

Christopher nods, still listening attentively, "And, I found out that they were keeping a big secret from me. And that hurt my feelings. But, you know what cheers me up?" 

"What?" Christopher asks, eyes wide and gleaming.

Buck smiles, "Getting to spend time with you, and your dad..." he pauses, leaning in to loudly whisper in his ear, "but _especially_ you. Don't tell him, but _you're_ my favorite."

Chris giggles, grin spreading ear-to-ear, "You're _my_ favorite, too...Buck." 

Eddie scoffs, " _Hey_ , you both know I'm standing right here, right?"

"Yup." Buck and Christopher say in unison, laughing.

Eddie rolls his eyes, face betraying him when a smile appears on his lips, "Okay, _okay_...I can see when I'm not wanted. I should probably get going."

The nice, warm family moment ends just as quickly as it started, and Buck feels his heart sink as reality starts to set back in.

_ Right...Eddie was going on a date. _

"Hey, buddy...why don't you wait for me in the living room, I'm just going to walk your dad out, okay?" Buck says, Christopher nodding before making his way back to the living room.

Buck takes a deep breath, standing up from his squatting-position on the ground and turning to look at Eddie.

"So...you ready for your _big date_?" Buck asks, mustering up as much fake-happiness as he possibly can to pull out some of their usual banter.

Eddie laughs, rubbing a hand over his head, " _Honestly_ , I don't know. I've been out of the game for a _long time_...to say I'm a bit rusty would be an understatement."

Buck snorts, "Right, you have been out of it for awhile, _old-man_." he teases, earning a glare from Eddie.

"Hey, I'm _not_ an old-man. And if my memory serves me right, you've been out of the game for quite some time, too." Eddie counters.

"Hey, working on myself is my excuse, what's yours?" Buck asks, raising an eyebrow.

Eddie shoots him another pointed look, and he raises his hands in surrender, "Okay, _okay_...point received."

He falls silent for a moment, watching as Eddie's face contorts into his typical stressed-out look, his body more tense than usual. 

It may be painful for Buck to think about Eddie going out on a date. But Eddie is first-and-foremost, all romantic feelings aside, his bestfriend. 

Eddie is his bestfriend, and even though he isn't saying it with his words---words aren't really needed between them---Buck has learned to read him as well as Eddie reads him.

_ He needs him right now. Needs his support, his encouragement. And Buck without hesitation would give that to him. _

He clears his throat, "But seriously, Eds..." he says, walking until he's standing right in front of him and resting a hand on his shoulder, "Don't overthink it so much."

"I'm _not_ overthinking it..." Eddie lies.

Buck shoots him a look saying _I can see right through your bullshit_ , and Eddie sighs, "Okay, so maybe I _am_ overthinking it just a bit." 

"Well don't..." Buck says, "Eddie, you're a total catch, and the full package. Man... _anyone_ would be _insane_ not to like you."

He wasn't lying about that part at all. Eddie was the full package in every possible sense of the phrase---he was an ex-silver-star-soldier-and-army-medic, badass firefighter, and the most amazing father Buck's ever seen---

_ It was impossible for anyone not to fall completely head-over-heels for Eddie, and Buck was no exception to that logic. _

Eddie huffs out a laugh, "And so what if you've been out of the game for awhile? Our jobs practically exist off of winging-it and adapting to whatever situation we're faced with. You _thrive_ in those situations, and this is no different."

"When did you become so wise, Buckley?" Eddie teases, a smirk on his face.

Buck scoffs, "I've _always_ been wise well beyond my years, Eddie. But, I would say therapy has also enlightened me quite a bit."

Eddie hums, face still looking slightly-stressed.

"It's going to go _great_ , Eddie." Buck reassures him, his mind betraying him with selfish hopes that maybe it wouldn't go great, that the date would end in Eddie's realization that he and Buck belonged together.

_ A guy can hope, right? _

He squeezes his shoulder, Eddie immediately relaxing underneath his hand. He looks up to meet Buck's eyes, their gazes staying locked together.

After a few seconds Buck shakes himself out of his trance, slapping Eddie's shoulder before backing up to put some much-needed distance between them.

Eddie clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"I should probably, uh...I should probably go." Eddie says, gesturing to the door.

Buck nods jerkily, "Yeah..." he breathes out.

Eddie shrugs on his jacket, grabbing his wallet and keys before turning to walk back into the living room and towards Christopher.

Buck leans against the doorframe of the living room, watching them with a fond look.

"Okay, buddy...I'm gonna head out." Eddie announces, kneeling down in front of Christopher and pulling him into an embrace.

Eddie smiles, pulling away and pressing a kiss into Christopher's hair, "Love you, have fun with Buck, okay?"

"Okay, dad." Chris says quietly, face slightly-crestfallen, causing Buck to frown.

Eddie seems to pick up on Christopher's sudden mood change too, shooting Buck a confused look. Buck shrugs.

Eddie nods to himself, " _Okay_ , I'll be back soon. Call me if you need anything."

Christopher nods, directing his attention back to his toys discarded on the floor. Eddie runs a hand through his hair before standing up, crossing the living room towards Buck.

Eddie is tense again, his face pulled in concern and very clearly looking conflicted about going through with his date when Chris is clearly off. Buck pushes away from the door frame, turning to look at him.

Before Eddie can talk, Buck speaks up, "I'm sure he's fine, Eddie. But just to give you peace of mind, I'll talk to him, okay? If it's _anything_ I'll call you."

Eddie hesitates for a moment, glancing back at Christopher before looking back at Buck, nodding, "Call me if he needs me." he agrees.

Buck nods, squeezing his shoulder before giving him a gentle push towards the door, "Now go, and have _fun_...okay? You deserve it for once. We'll be fine."

Eddie walks down the hallway towards the door, and Buck watches him go...a sinking feeling in his chest.

Buck is so lost in the sea of his thoughts that he almost doesn't hear Eddie's voice call out to him, "Oh, and Buck?"

He turns to look at Eddie, who's halfway out the door, leaning inside, "Yeah?"

"Thank you." Eddie says, voice full of sincerity.

Buck furrows his eyebrows, "For what?" he asks.

Eddie looks down at the ground before meeting Buck's eyes again, "For watching Christopher, for _always_ watching out for him...for," he pauses, smiling shyly, "Always getting me out of my own head. You're good at that."

Buck's eyes widen, completely taken aback from Eddie's sudden outburst and the sincerity in his words...in his gaze.

"Just thank you, for _everything_...Buck." He finishes off.

Buck stays silent, eyes burning with unshed tears. He is unable to form any coherent words, instead nodding.

Eddie shoots him one last smile before walking outside, the door closing behind him. Buck leans back against the wall, mind reeling from what had just taken place.

Eddie had never been the person to be so honest, so vocal about his thoughts and feelings, instead showing his gratitude through his actions---his warm eyes, his soft smiles, his gentle and lingering touches---

Buck never expected him to say something like that, and it left him spiraling even further into his completely-unplatonic feelings for his bestfriend.

He shakes himself out of his thoughts, remembering that he's here for a reason.

_ Christopher. _

Buck pushes away from the wall, shoving his hands into his pockets and walking over towards Christopher, sinking down onto the floor beside him.

He puts a hand on his shoulder, "Hey, buddy."

Christopher looks up at him, forcing a smile that doesn't quite meet his eyes, "Hi, Buck."

"So, we have a whole night ahead of us. What do you want to do?" Buck asks.

Christopher falls silent for a moment, eyes darting around in consideration of Buck's question.

"Can we watch movies on Netflix?" Chris asks.

Buck nods, smiling at him, "Of course we can, anything you want. What do you say you pick the movie, and I'll get us some concessions."

Christopher nods, " _Yeah_! Can we have popcorn and candy? Dad hid our secret stash after our last movie night and insists on healthier snacks." he explains, face twisting in disgust. 

Buck laughs, shaking his head, "Of _course_ he did. Well, I'll locate our secret stash, and don't worry..." Buck says, leaning in to whisper in a conspiratorial voice, "I won't tell your dad _anything_." he says, shooting him an exaggerated wink.

Christopher giggles, a brighter smile appearing on his face. Buck smiles, ruffling his hair before standing up from the floor and making his way in the direction of the kitchen.

It doesn't take Buck long to locate his and Christopher's secret stash of movie snacks---Eddie has never been very good at hiding things, and Buck has learned all of his tactics---

Buck tosses a bag of popcorn into the microwave, gathering as much candy and comfort food as he can---it seems like both him and Chris need it---

Once the popcorn is done he empties it into a bowl, gathering the rest of their snacks before making his way back into the living room, discarding their snacks onto the table.

"Well, your dad seems to have not improved in the slightest at hiding things from us." Buck jokes, earning a laugh from Christopher.

He sinks down onto the couch beside Christopher, settling the bowl of popcorn into his lap and eating a few pieces, "So, what are we watching?" he asks.

" _Coco_!" Christopher exclaims excitedly, gesturing to the television where the movie is already cued up.

Buck smiles, rubbing his hands together, "My _favorite_. Let's start it, then." 

Christopher smiles, pressing the play button on the tv remote before settling into Buck's side, head resting against his chest. He reaches over to grab some popcorn, shoving it into his mouth, a few pieces falling into his lap. Buck chuckles and smiles fondly at him, immediately looping an arm around him and turning to look at the television.

~

Buck keeps sparing glances at Christopher during the movie, concerned by his unusual quietness that is a very rare occurrence during their movie nights---he's usually always loud, adding hilarious commentary to every film they watch---

After deciding that now is a better time as any to try and talk to Christopher, Buck reaches over to grab the remote, pausing the movie before looking down at him.

"Hey, Chris?" Buck asks softly.

Christopher hums, "Yeah, Buck? Why'd you pause the movie?"

He pulls away from Christopher, shifting so that he's facing him, "There's something that I want to talk to you about, if that's okay." 

He nods, turning to look at Buck.

"You know that I'm here for you, right? That you can _always_ talk to me if something is bothering you?" Buck asks.

Christopher nods, "Yeah."

"Well, buddy...you've been quieter than usual tonight. Your dad was worried, and...I'm starting to get worried, too. I just want to make sure you're okay." Buck explains softly.

Christopher is quiet, head down as he fidgets with his hands in his lap.

"You don't _have_ to talk about it if you don't want to, but..your dad and I don't like seeing you upset. And, I want you to know that it's okay to talk about it, _whatever_ it is." Buck continues.

Christopher sighs, looking up to meet Buck's eyes, "Buck, are you going to go away again?" he asks in a quiet voice, eyes wide with sadness and a deep frown on his face.

Buck frowns, "What? Of _course_ not...why would I be going away?"

Chris shrugs, "Well, the last time you were sad...you went away for awhile. And, I know that you're sad again. I just..." he pauses, eyes darting around, "I don't want you to leave again, Buck. I always miss you when you leave."

Buck feels his heart shatter into a million pieces at his words. He doesn't even know where these feelings came from, but he has a feeling that his short disappearance following his parents surprise visit has something to do with it.

"Chris..." Buck breathes out, struggling to find the right words to say.

Christopher sniffles, "I miss daddy when he's not here. But you're _always_ here, too. If he's dating again, will you go away too?" he whispers, voice cracking.

His face scrunches up in his signature pre-crying look, tears welling up in his eyes. Before Buck can react, Christopher is collapsing into his arms, tucking his head into Buck's shoulder as he cries.

Buck is shocked by the sudden outburst, immediately wrapping his arms tightly around Christopher, bringing one hand up to cradle his head while the other rubs his back, "Hey, hey...it's okay, Chris. Please don't cry. Shhhhh. It's okay."

"Please don't leave again, Buck." He pleads, voice cracking with emotion.

Buck stays silent, allowing him to cry out the remainder of his tears. When Christopher quiets down, his sobs subsiding...Buck pulls back slightly to look at him, who's looking down.

"Chris, buddy...can you look at me? _Please_?" Buck asks softly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

Christopher sniffles, looking up to meet Buck's eyes, "Christopher, I _need_ you to listen to me, okay?"

He nods, rubbing at his bloodshot eyes.

"Did your dad tell you about why I was sad?" Buck asks.

He shakes his head, "No. He just said that your family was around, and that it made you sad."

Buck takes a deep breath, preparing himself to dive back into the emotions he had burried deep down following the long-awaited departure of his parents, "Well, my parents came into town. And...I don't talk to them that much. I haven't seen them in a long time, either." he explains.

Christopher sniffles, "Why not?"

"Well, remember how I told you that my parents aren't like your dad?" Christopher nods, "They've never been very nice to me, Chris. From when I was your age, they never paid me much attention, and they didn't take care of me the way your dad takes care of you."

"And that's why you were sad when they came around?" He guesses.

Buck nods, frowning, "Yeah, buddy. That's why I was sad. You see...my parents were always around, but they also _weren't_. It _felt_ like they weren't there."

"Chris, I know how it feels to have the people you love, the people you _want_ to love you, leave you behind..." Buck continues, "And I would never, _ever_ do that to you."

Chris looks down, fidgeting with his hands.

"I know that I went away before, and I'm still sorry for that. But, Chris...I want you to know that I _love_ you, and that I'm _always_ going to be here for you. Even if I need some time away, I'll _always_ come back." Buck says firmly.

He looks up to meet Buck's eyes, " _Promise_?"

Buck nods, reaching up to swipe a tear from under his eye, "I _promise_. No matter what happens, no matter who your dad is dating, I'm _always_ going to be here for you. That will _never_ change, okay?" he reassures him.

Christopher nods, "Okay."

"Was there anything else bothering you, buddy?" Buck asks.

He shakes his head, "No."

"Okay, good. Are you feeling better now that you talked about it?" He asks.

Christopher nods, a small smile appearing on his face, "Yeah, I am. Thank you, Buck..." he says, "Are _you_ feeling better?"

Buck considers the question, finally settling on an answer, "You know what? I think I am. You're a _very_ good listener."

He beams at Buck, climbing off of his lap and settling back in against his side, "Good. And I get that from my dad, he _always_ listens to me."

"I'm sure he does, bud." Buck says, a fond smile crossing his lips at the thought of Eddie, and what an amazing father he was to Christopher.

Buck knows that is one of the biggest reasons why he admires Eddie, why he fell for him. Because of how big his heart was, about how all-consuming his love was for his son, the way he cared about him...protected him.

"So," Buck says, trying to stop from spiraling again, "What do you say we finish the movie?"

Christopher nods, smiling over at Buck. Buck grabs the remote, and is about to resume the movie when Chris speaks up again, "Hey, Buck?"

Buck hums, looking over at him, "Do you love my dad?"

Buck's eyes widen, his breath hitching. He feels all of the color draining from his face, completely taken aback by the question, "Of course I love your dad, Chris. He's...he's my bestfriend."

"Yeah, but...do you _love_ him?" He asks, emphasizing the word love with a very clear implication behind it. 

Buck shouldn't be surprised, the kid is Eddie's...he's intelligent and wise far beyond his years. Of course he'd be able to pick up on Buck's not-so-platonic feelings towards his dad.

Buck clears his throat, rubbing the back of his neck, "Yeah, yeah I do, Chris." he admits quietly.

Christopher furrows his eyebrows, "Then why is he on a date with someone else?"

And that...was a loaded question. One that Buck wasn't really sure he was ready to unpack, especially in a conversation with a kid.He didn't even know how to explain the situation, given that he wasn't even sure what this thing between _them_ , this thing with the three of them, even was.

"Well," Buck says, shifting in his seat, "Your dad, he...he hasn't been with anyone since your mom. And, he started getting lonely. So, he decided to try and find someone...a partner." he explains.

"But he has _you_..." Christopher points out as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "Why would he get lonely?"

Buck sighs, shifting closer to Christopher, "Chris, there are different kinds of partners, different kinds of _love_. Your dad and I, we're bestfriends, and we're partners at work, but...he's looking for a life partner." he tries his best to explain.

"But...doesn't he _love_ you too?" Christopher asks, eyes wide and open. Buck almost envies how simple life seems to him, how innocent he is.

Buck nods, smiling weakly, "Yeah, he does. But your dad loves me like a bestfriend. It's different than how _I_ feel about _him."_

Christopher nods, eyes darting around as he processes the information, "So, even if daddy finds a partner, you'll still be around, right?"

"Of course I will be. Like I said, no matter what happens I'll _always_ be here for you. I may need to step back so that there's room for your dad's partner, but that doesn't mean I'll disappear. I promise you..." He reassures him, squeezing his shoulder.

He sighs, "Life is confusing, so is love..." he says, face twisted with childlike-confusion.

Buck lets out a laugh at that, shaking his head, "Oh, you have _no idea_ , kid. But you have _plenty_ of time before you need to worry about that."

He picks up a few pieces of popcorn, tossing them playfully at Christopher. He chuckles, tossing some back at Buck.

"So, ready to continue Coco?" Buck asks, a wide grin on his face.

Christopher nods, resting his head on Buck's chest again. Buck wraps an arm around him, pulling him closer as he resumes the movie.

The big emotional family moment happens on screen, and Christopher turns to look at Buck, "Buck, you know you're our family, right?"

Buck forces his teary eyes away from the screen, glancing down at him, "Am I?" he asks, and Christopher nods.

"Yeah, and I love you, Buck." he says, settling in tighter against his side. 

Buck's eyes stay locked on him, a tear rolling down his cheek. He quickly swipes it away, running a hand down Christopher's back, "I love you too, Chris. So much." he replies weakly, getting choked up.

~

Buck feels a hand land on his shoulder, causing him to jerk awake. He rubs the sleep from his eyes, blinking as he tries to gather his bearings.

He takes note of the movie being over, probably for awhile now. He realizes he's now laying down, Christopher fast asleep on his chest.

He smiles fondly at him, running a hand through his hair before looking up to meet Eddie's eyes...who's sitting beside them on the couch with an unreadable expression on his face.

_So Eddie woke him up. How long had he been sitting there?_

Buck smiles weakly, "Hey..." he whispers, "how'd the date go?" 

Eddie shrugs, running a hand through his hair, "It was okay, but..." he pauses, "I don't think it's going to work out."

Buck furrows his eyebrows, "Why? Still not ready to move on yet?" he asks, voice concerned.

Eddie shakes his head, "No, it's not _that_. It's just...I think I'm content with where I am right now. With _who_ I have in my life."

Buck feels a small spark of hope erupt in his chest, trying his best to school his features. 

He hums, "As long as you're happy, man."

"I am..." he says, a small smile on his face, "So, how was everything with..." he gestures to Chris, who snuggles closer to Buck.

Buck nods, "Turns out I had it all handled. He's okay. I think..." he pauses, "I think we're _all_ going to be okay." he smiles.

Eddie looks up to meet his eyes, eyes locking. Buck can see something burning behind his eyes, but isn't sure what it is. 

_ He was starting to think that he'd figure it out soon. _

Eddie smiles, "Yeah, I think so too."

_ And for the first time in a really long time, Buck had hope. _

~


End file.
